"I'm sorry, I didn't want to cry on TV"

So the Olympics is over for another four years and daytime TV returns to the dull and downright banal. Our acceptable forum for a little nationalism and pride must retreat at least until the start of the Paralympics.

I have felt such passion and enthusiasm for our athletes (such that I even describe them here as ‘our’) despite not having ever met any of them or even bought a lottery ticket. As always there were those who won medals and there were those who nearly made it. And as always we will lament that there are no medals for being the fourth fastest person in the world.

For those who fell at the last hurdle (either literally or metaphorically) they were often hauled in front of the cameras to deconstruct their performance whilst looking like there was absolutely anywhere else in the world that they would rather be. During these often awkward, strained commiseration interviews, there was one most commonly heard phrase; “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to cry on TV”, often followed by swollen eyes and gulps trying to hold back the tears.

This is surely a strange phenomenon. I have absolutely zero sports prowess. The closet I’ve ever come to athletic achievement was third place in the Year 2 egg and spoon race. But even I can mentalise a person who has trained every day for four years, ate a strict diet, hardly spent any time with their family and friends, genuinely believed they could make it; and now in that most important moment lost out on the medal they had their heart set on. Surely now more than ever is an appropriate time to cry?

But it appears that Olympians want to appear ‘strong’ and ‘dignified’ and that means no tears (just to stay on topic here I will leave gendered discourses around strength and weakness for another day). Perhaps Olympians are reserving their emotions for their loved ones and support networks, which is fine, but I just wish they would embrace their tears a little more.

In the EP world I meet a lot of young people who are confused about or who are struggling with their emotional regulation. The number of children that I have met who have told me that they feel they need to be happy all the time is more than a little concerning. I for one would be disconcerted to live in a world with consistently smiling people. And I think my ability to be a psychologist in such a world would be significantly impaired.

The Olympics and Paralympics are a great opportunity to discuss a diversity of emotions. They provide a visual aide and scaffold for discussions around emotional expression and the links between thoughts, feelings and behaviour. I appreciate that it is not an Olympians’ job to do my job for me but a few tears would really help!